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10 Tips for the best orgasms

loversReaching orgasm is an incredibly pleasurable and exciting experience, especially when you do so in an intimate moment with your partner. However, sometimes orgasms can be few and far between, or perhaps they aren’t as strong and intense as you would like them to be. Rest assured, we all need a little fine-tuning every now and then when it comes to achieving orgasm. Consider the following tips to help you reach your best orgasms ever.

Never fake it
Sometimes women (and even men!) fake orgasms because they don’t want to hurt their partners’ feelings. Though this deception comes from a place of love, it is still deception and can be destructive. Your partner won’t learn how to truly pleasure you, and you will likely become resentful if you continually miss out on your sexual bliss.

Ask for what you want
Instead of faking orgasm, why not be up front and let your partner know what types of positions and touches you enjoy? Hate missionary? Go ahead and tell him! Or, hop on top and show him what you like.

Stay fit
Along with keeping your communication tight, you also need to make sure that your physical health is up to par. Get plenty of exercise and eat a healthy diet. Plus, steer clear of too much wine on date night (a glass or two is fine, but any more and you might kill the sensations and pleasures of sex).

Dress for success
If you want a great orgasm, dress the part! Leave the granny panties and old sweats in the closet where they belong. Instead dress with seduction in mind. Not only will it get your partner thinking along amorous lines, but it will also help you tap into your inner vixen all day long.

Focus on your hot spots
Only 30 percent of women have an orgasm from intercourse alone, so rest assured that there is nothing abnormal about your inability to reach orgasm instantly during sex. Most women need a little extra stimulation, whether it’s manual stimulation of the clitoris or oral stimulation before or after the act itself.

Make more time for foreplay
It’s true that there will be some days when you simply won’t have time for sex. However, most of the time, you can always finagle a few moments to bond and be intimate. You just have to be creative: Hop in the shower for a little loving at the end of a long day, or set your alarm for 15 minutes earlier and free up time for early morning intimacy.

Just do it!
Even if you aren’t in the mood at first, sexual pleasure can sometimes pop up after a few moments of touching and foreplay. Don’t say no off the bat, give your body time to wake up and respond.

Utilise sex toys
Sex aids can bring a whole new level of enjoyment and intimacy into your bedroom, especially if you have hit a rough patch or you want to spice things up. You can use a simple clitoral vibrator during intercourse to help increase your arousal, or you can get even more intense by using a G-spot vibrator or a dildo.

Kiss More!
Sounds simple, yet many couples stop kissing once in a long-term relationship. Get those kisses back by making it a point to kiss every day for at least ten seconds. It will bring intimacy and eroticism back to your bedroom and to your relationship.

Self-stimulation is a great way to get in touch with your sexual response and inner desires. Make it a habit to fantasize and self-stimulate on a regular basis to keep your circulation flowing and your libido pumping!

You can’t afford to be a disaster in bed

  • Written by  Bosede Ola-Samuel
There is something that is very important to partners in marriage, which everyone who desires a successful marriage must never overlook. It is the art of being good in bed. In other words, being the best you can in the act of sex. When partners master this, it will help them a great deal in their desire to stay happily together hereafter, enjoying honeymoon forever. Marriages had been abandoned, and marriage oath broken, by even the most innocent ones on the basis of the bedroom failure of their spouses. I know of a case in which a lady became adulterous because she was not being sexually satisfied by her husband. And this is one lady who never thought that she could ever touch the forbidden fruit of adultery, not to talk of eating it. In yet another case, a man now patronises the ladies of easy virtues because his wife is simply what you will call ‘a disaster in bed.’

Amazingly, many marriages are being kept intact as a result of the fulfilling bedroom experiences of the partners. I bet it with you that what is sustaining some marriages is due to the sexual fulfilment derived by the partners. Some partners will tolerate themselves in other areas, excusing the misbehaviour of each other just because they are sexually fulfilled. I once heard of the case of a lady who is married to a man who yells and kicks her at will. Sympathisers have been counselling her to leave this brute of a husband, yet she has remained adamant. According to a confidant of hers, she confessed that what is keeping her in the marriage despite the sustained beatings is the sexual prowess of her husband. She will not trade that for anything in this world. If you find this strange, it’s because you don’t understand what is called being good in bed, and most probably, you’ve not been there.

To be good in bed means to meet the sexual expectations of one’s spouse. Thus, a person is considered good in bed because he/she is satisfying his/her spouse sexually. That is why the phrase is relative to each marriage, and differs from partner to partner. This is why you cannot judge your being good in bed with that of another person in a marriage other than yours. It is he/she who feels it that knows it, and can talk about it.

The most important thing is that the two people involved are being sexually fulfilled; meeting each other’s expectations in sex.

Good sex is about the connection you have with your partner. It’s about working together instead of being a lone ranger, enjoying yourselves at each other’s expense. It is the team work in bed, just like it’s required in other areas that produces maximum sexual satisfaction for couples in marriage.

Some like trying new styles for varieties and the fun of it, while others may stick to the conservative approach. As long as they are sexually fulfilled and pleased, don’t interrupt their rhythm with yours. Whereas some like rough and crazy sex; others want it gentle and sweet.

Factors that determine bedroom reactions
The styles, methods, and approaches of partners vary and depend on some factors: the time of the month, time of the day, what we eat, whether we are feeling stressed, sad, happy, or in the playful mood.

To be good in bed, you’ve got to be able to figure out what your partner wants in bed/sex every time, and then be ready to give it to him or her big time and real good, both in quality and quantity, taking your health into consideration. It will drive him or her to a crazy end each time, doing crazy things in bed, with you. In doing this, pay attention to the following: His energy, if tired or full of energy; how he/she reacts physically or emotionally to your moves; what words excite him/her; if certain touches or moves make him/her shrink away.

You must know how to physically touch your spouse in and out of bed. It brings great excitement to the act of sex. A lover is one who values sensuality both in and out of bed. So, don’t wait till you get into bed with him or her. Give a touch across the table at dinner; hold your hands as you take a stroll. It will enhance your ability to lovingly touch and connect with each other when in bed. Those who are into sex for the sake of sex alone hardly touch their partners when in bed. To such, the slogan is ‘touch not’, only do that which you do as quickly as possible.

Being good in bed also requires your desire to please your spouse, instead of focusing on pleasing yourself. It must not always be about you – to ensure your own satisfaction. Men are mostly the guilty ones in this category. They taxi easily, so it is easy to fall into the mould. Your spouse’s happiness should always be your priority, in and out of the bedroom. Love focuses not on himself/herself, but on the other. So, never be in a rush to get into the sack at the slightest opportunity. Rather, wait for her signal before you use the door.

Finally, ask Yes or No questions when in doubt of your observation as a feedback on your work rate: Does this feel good; do you like this; do I go harder; can I pull your rod or hair; should I remove it; should I stop the movement etc.

Sex should be for or out of love, and not for or out of obligation. When you do it for love, you will connect, and thus satisfy your spouse in bed.

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