My marriage is nine years old. I have been very lucky with my career. While a lot of my colleagues in the banks had their careers terminated; mine kept flourishing so much that I am now a branch manager in out of the A-list banks.
The money I make is enough to feed my family and keep the children in one of the best schools in town. Though my husband works, but his salary as a top civil servant is nothing to write home about. Therefore, I have to provide most of the things at home.
Also the demands of my job give me very little time with my family; a fact my husband understands. There is no way I can be a manager and still have time to prepare my children for school, cook and clean the house. Since his job isn’t as demanding as mine, we agreed he should assist with ensuring the children are ready by the time the school bus comes for them.
It isn’t as if he baths them; there are two house-helps in the house I pay to cover up my lapses.
Although I go to work on Saturdays, I try to come home early when I don’t have a social function.
For a long time my husband kept complaining about my unavailability at home and in his life as my husband.
No matter how hard I tried to explain to him that my job left me exhausted and unable to make love when he desired it; he would always complain.
At a time, I stopped trying to make him understand and actually packed to our guest room to give me peace at home.
To be honest, I can’t remember when he stopped complaining about my job or not having enough of my company. Also the fact that I have been busy trying to keep my job in the face of threats presented by the ailing economy and competition presented by the retrenchment of very good hands in other banks, I lost account of the last time we made love.
Honestly Agatha, I love my husband and prayed ours would be a happy home. But I have evidence that my husband has another woman who recently gave him a set of twins. She is also a civil servant. I went there to confirm and found it to be true. What pains me the most is the role of my mother-in-law in the development. She was there at the naming ceremony of the babies, despite everything I do for her.
When my husband learnt I went to see the other woman; he warned me never to attempt it again. He actually threatened to end our marriage if I ever do that again.
Now he hardly comes home or talks to me. I love him and want my husband back home. I’m trying to change; come home early and stay at home on weekends but he is never around. What do I do? Or do I just divorce him since he now has another woman in his life?
Culled from Daily independent/Agatha